2003 Review

Posted Up: December 24th 2003

This is my brief, even though it looks pretty long, rundown of how 2003 was to me. No real reason to write it other than I thought I would like to recall some events for those willing to read.

Here it is, the end of this 2003 year. I haven't done too much, online. Offline though, it's been a little bit crazy to say the least. It started off okay though, because I was in the trimester of getting a certificate for Business Technologies at ole sipi. That was done, no ceremony for me. Then there was Gatherings going on, and I had some fun there, but didn't really get to check out any shows or folks involved in hip hop there. Well, I did run up on the dj for tribal live, and after introducing myself he kindly brushed me off. After that I found myself kinda peeved by that, but then again, it was also pretty funny. Who am I to think I should automatically get, or deserve recognition for my li'l works online? I'm just a rez guy, nothing more, nothing less. To my overinflated ego, that was a shock. But, thankfully, it put me in check so I walked off kinda mad at first, but in the end I hold no grudges. They went on to win a Nammy and things look pretty bright for those guy.

Well that concluded my li'l Southwest part of 2003. I got back home and recorded a li'l verse for someone around the way. It was a crazy thing though, because they were talking and getting mad about something that happened here on the rez. I knew it wasn't going to be good. When I actually found out though, it was a sad occassion. Their cousin, my friend, was missing for about a month or so at that time. Rumors were going around about this or that, and the story was constantly being twisted and reversed seemed like. Needless to say it's still sad to think that he's still not found and foul play is a major concern of many. Well, the verse I did for that song seemed to fit the moment, even though I had no clue was was going on at the time. From there, things don't seem to get any better.

After that, it was funeral after funeral ranging from nephews, neices, cousins, aunts, uncles, and grandparents. As it is on the rez, things just went wrong and kept going in that direction for awhile. It's hard to go to a wake, or funeral, and then there's others there completely gone in terms of mindstate through the use of alcohol or drugs. They're crying around, but also mad too. I'm sure they are very justifiable emotions, but in the way they came out is just insulting. I mean, there usually is a time and place for something and a funeral is something that is should be way off limits for those types of things. I've been to enough to know that it's a sad sight to see when those things happen. For the most part, we pay our respects, and hope their journey afterwords is a safe and beautiful one.

Around summer though, things were starting to look up. I started working as an emergency fire fighter, but spent most of my time working with the WUI (wildland urban interface) crew, of which I became apart of later on. We went out on the fires here on the rez, they numbered 3 major ones and smaller ones scattere to and fro. Paychecks came in and I acted a fool. No clothes, no accessories for anything I don't own, such as a car, or house. No, my money went out to buy cd's and dvd's. Now I always bought cd's, but dvd's are something new to the purchasing history of moi. While others bought their 'important' things like liquor or mind stimulants of some sort, I was spending hundreds of dollars, literally, on a whim for movies and music. The once withered collection I once had for cd's suddenly blossomed into a nice replication of what used to be. Nowhere close to replicating, but approaching nicely.

In the job though, it was piling downed and cut trees, arguing w/ haters and naysayers on the job, and making a pretty good name for wui along the way. We were cocky, self assured, and let it be known we handled ours. Maybe the crew boss didn't approve of our big mouths, but it gianed recognition somehow. We got to go to a cheap cali fire, but that ended up being a cheap excuse to be garbage men. We have more meaningless jobs to perform home on the rez, but the 5 paid days on the road probably overshadowed the fact we weren't needed in cali that time. Then we started prescribed burns. A whole new experience for me, but the luster didn't last too long in burning. After a couple time, the pyro in me wasn't really inspired anymore. We started to burn piles and that led to soup lunches and laughs around the fire.

All through the job though, there were still funerals going on. I also happened to get into a wreck where I fell asleep at the wheel. The car rolled, and I didn't have a seatbelt on. I went from being in the driver's seat to back seat in a matter of milliseconds. So, after getting minimal damage I took a week and a half to recouperate. I missed out on some work there, but I would have to say it was worth it.

So with the job too, this website wasn't much to look at at all. Mostly it was because of the domain name situation. I wasn't sure if I still owned it or not. Well, homey from across the seas took part in securing it back in my name. I'm still struggling to get a suitable layout to work with. Maybe I'll go simple this time round?

Which brings me to now. I honestly didn't think much about holidays or the meanings behind them. It was just something commercialized to me. Yet, I must say that a couple nights ago, I was faced to make decisions for other's safety. Drunk people and firearms do not make a good combination. As alcohol does so easily, their minds started to falter and turned to unlikely sources of reasoning. Someone so drunk that a firearm is admissible in the conversation, seems like they should rethink their drinking decisions. Instead of doing that, they feel empowered, or think others should look at them in that light. It's never the case, but I'm pretty sure you can't tell them that.

I don't want to get into details, but after that incident (where nobody got hurt), I do appreciate the people that surround me, and those I've met along my journeys. I always have, except after this past year, I seem to really enjoy the time spent w/ those that have helped me out one time or another. Even after times things didn't exactly work out in my favor I still know that they never had to do anything for me, but at one time or another they showed some kindness to me. For those reasons I can't exactly just start showing anyone my backside because of a few mishaps.

To everyone taking the time to read my li'l musings, thanks for your support. Even if you don't read it all, let me just express my appreciation for sticking w/ me and my works thoughout the years. May this partnership of me writing, and you reading continue as time passes and I gain some maturity, hopefully. As any year does, 2003 seemed like a series of highs and lows for myself, but it was memorable no doubt.

Posted on 04 Jun 2006 by Windreamer